RHYTHM (Clubflat nickname, founded in 2006)


Real Name: Steve B


Position: Clubflat Director of Dancing



A long time clubber from the days of Hero's coach trips clubbing all over the UK, Rhythm is a dancing specialty. Not because he knocks out moves that would put John Travolta to shame, but because once that music is on, this mutha simply doesn't stop! Yes it's true, like the infamous track by Snap, Rhythm is a dancer! And an all night dancer at that! He homes into the rhythm and his hands, body and feet do the rest. In the Ministry of Sound several years ago, at 7am when everyone's legs were ready to drop off and people simply couldn't handle any more and needed to go, Rhythm was no-where to be found. He had ducked out and found himself his own little spot so he could continue dancing until the place shut at 8am, keeping a whole coach of 50 people waiting! In between dancing, you can find Rhythm sipping the night away on any number of vodka cocktails. Vodka red, vodka black, vodka blue, vodka and coke, vodka and orange, vodka lemon and lime, vodka and vodka! Yep, he's a vodka connoisseur alright and he'll challenge anyone to a dual. But it's when he moves onto the lager, Stella in particular that the fun and 'bitching' begins, bitch. Not in the sense of slagging everyone off, cos gentle Rhythm ain't like that you understand. No, it's more a case of after having a few, this is the only word that comes out of his mouth, bitch. Everyone's a bitch, including you, bitch. Bitches all of you, bitch. You can't fail to be in hysterics once Rhythm is bitching, you really have to see it to believe it! Quite understandable when throughout his dancing career he's blown more money on women than Bill Gates has made from Microsoft. Bitch. Well when he's not spending money on women, dancing or bitching, Rhythm is usually building something or other. This guy's read more instruction manuals than you've read daily newspapers, he really can turn his hand to anything. So it came as a great, great surprise that after having knocked down and re-built the internals of houses, fitted central heating, re-wired electrics, fitted gas fires and basically done out houses in the most extravagant of ways from top to bottom, that Rhythm failed to operate a simple digital camera whilst on holiday in Zante. And we mean failed spectacularly from having 20 second delays until the photo took, to having it in night mode during the day, to having the flash settings all wrong, it goes on. Hilarious and another nickname was born. The most likely cause was that the make of the camera was Pentax, not Sony, Rhythm's technological true love. Even his dancing shoes are made by Sony, we think. One hell of a character, bitch, boys and girls we give you Rhythm.


Rhythm Says: "You're all bitches, bitch, now let me dance. Bitch".


Claim to Fame: "I was asked to go on Strictly Come Dancing but the music wasn't hardcore enough for me. Bitches".


Other Aliases:

The Mitchell Brothers - When Rhythm is paired up with Bodge-It, with both having shaved heads and with one slightly taller than the other, they are The Mitchell Brothers, from Eastenders. Nickname founded in Newquay 2008.

Instruction Book - Rhythm is king of 'reading the manual', however when he had a nightmare working a simple camera in Zante for days on end, this name was born. Nickname founded in Zante 2006.

Bitch - Give Rhythm a few vodka's or worse still just a single Stella and the bitching begins. Everyone's a 'bitch'. Bitch. Nickname founded in 2006.

Sucka - After several unfortunate relationships with women in which they all drained his huge reservoir of a wallet, Rhythm would still go at it again. And again. And again. Nickname founded in 1994.

Banana Bunch - A name created as a play on his actual name. Nickname founded at birth.