When 11 lads go away together, there are bound to be lots of laughs.  This holiday was exceptional in producing new phrases and many memorable moments as a result of some real stupidity.  Here some of the best phrases that emerged this holiday along with 101 of the most memorable moments, as described by the team members who were present during those moments!

Newquay Phrase Glossary
 
Airstream - When someone farts and gradually one by one, people in the room smell it in a sequential order based on where they are sat, the aroma has been following a natural 'airstream' route to escape, usually towards the window.
Bellmania – When Memphis got in late after everybody else, he would get his Bell out and go nuts.  No-one was safe, least of all Bluff.   Expect to open your eyes and find it hanging close by, or worse, receiving leg rubbage as Memphis jumps into your bed naked to punish you for being asleep.
Bellnotism – The art of bellnotism.  You wake up briefly and open your eyes only to find Memphis' Bell hanging millimetres from your face, swinging slightly in a hypnotic manner.
Cowdog - The name given to the disgusting takeaway you get on the way home which you know contains all sorts of animals, but you eat anyway as it tastes exceptionally good when drunk.
Fartriloquy - When someone farts and the people sitting immediately next to that person do not smell the deed, but someone not as close to this person and not in the direct 'airstream' magically does.  This is the art of Fartriloquy.  Congratulations you've thrown your fart like a ventriloquist throws their voice.
Hook, Bell and Sinker - If you were conned into looking at Memphis' Bell, like when it got text to Hero's phone, or you are a victim of Bellmania, it's true to say you fell for it, hook, Bell and sinker.
Hynobell – The name given to Memphis' Bell as it swings millimetres from your face like a pendulum when performing Bellnotism.
Kafarte - As you fart, raise your arm and simultaneously perform a karate hand chop, making the "haaa-yaa" noise, whilst at the same time stamping your foot on the ground in an attempt to hide the fact you're farting.
Look into the Eye - When Memphis is performing Bellnotism with his Hypnobell, as you back your head away from his swinging Bell he will whisper the words to you "Look into the eye, look into the eye, don't look around the eye, look into the eye.  3 - 2 - 1.... IT'S's IN!".
Memphasism – The only way to get rid of all those disturbing images in your mind of Memphis' Bell, and the only way for the hotel owner to purge the supernatural force left behind in the room from all the Bellmania that has taken place is to perform a Memphasism.

101 Hilarious Moments
 
1. Bluff saying to Memphis as he wrestled him on the bed during a bout of Bellmania.... "You're fiendishly strong!".
2. Bluff's controlled anger towards Memphis after being defeated in a bout of Bellmania.... "NEVER come back!".
3. Hero and Quick Buck's Nan asking Hero something she's never seen him do.... "You still smoking Ryan?".
4. Whilst holding the massive silver bell-shaped doorstop for the bedroom, Laze explaining how if that fits up Shag's arse, Memphis' Bell MIGHT fit.
5. Drawing Clubflat cards as straws for the beds, with Shag correctly predicting that he would be in the double with Memphis because he was the unluckiest person in the world.
6. Shag explaining his misfortunate life some more... "I'm so unlucky".  Cut to him asleep on the floor.  "Bed and breakfast" he said, "I got neither.  All I got was the 'and' part".
7. 3 - 2 - 1, IT'S IN!  A whole afternoon spent cabbaging in bed talking about how Memphis attacks you with his Bell.
8. Hero's retaliation abuse at Memphis when told to stop moaning about his measly steak.... "Shut up you Big Baldy Head!".
9. Shit Leg on the beach.  The woman who got poo'd on massively by a seagull and didn't realise.  See The Beach.
10. Laze's obsession with "You want a piece of Barry".
11. Image going all the way to Newquay with his surf board and gear, only to injure his shoulder on the first day, in the first hour of surfing and not being able to do any more for the rest of the holiday.
12. Memphis on the dance floor in Walkabout trying to start a moshpit with some nutty head banging.... within seconds being told to "Stop it" by the doormen as onlookers gave a combination of facial signs showing either amazement, disgust or just plain frightfulness.
13. Shag's phrase of "It’s so wrong its right" being repeated far too many times for health.
14. "The Mitchell Brothers".
15. Rhythm being mistaken for everyone in sight with a bald head.
17. Memphis' burp in Corkers that ended in a sickly gurgling noise.
18. Hero buying Laze and the Mitchell Brothers a ridiculously expensive drink in the curry house and justifying it by explaining "Phil, this is for picking up my diving fins..., Grant this is for going with Phil to pick up my diving fins..., Laze, erm, this is for porking my sister".
19. Bluff being singled out for not being allowed back into Belushi's following a cigarette outside.
20. Whilst eating their poppadoms, Hero, Laze, Bodge-It and Rhythm receiving a text photo from Memphis of "The Eye" wearing Laze's sunglasses and smoking a fag.
21. Laze's subsequent realisation that they were his sunglasses on Memphis' Bell.
22. Laze's further horror when Image then admitted that after all this, he had accidentally trodden on his sunglasses and broken them.
23. Sitting in the back of Chuggsy all the way to Newquay and back with Bluff chain smoking next to you, yet bizarrely not being able to smell a single whiff of smoke.
24. Electro Kid texting a message to appear on screens all around Walkabout.... "Feeling down? Clubflat.com, you know where it's at!".
25. Quick Buck commenting.... "When Memphis was born they thought it was twins".
26. The stench of piss in Walkabout's toilets.
27. Laze nearly falling out the B&B window only to be stopped by the curtain.
28. Memphis' description of seeing Quick Buck upside down before water impact after being launched from rubber ring pulled by the speedboat.
29. Shag didn't have a shit?!?!?!?!  Everyone else had about 10!
30. The lifeguard speaking on the tannoy at Fistral beach.... "Once again.... Can the man paddling out with his surfboard the wrong way round please turn it the right way".
31. The lifeguard's further sarcasm.... "Can the woman bathing by the rocks please move between the red and yellow flags..... I'm getting bored of hearing my own voice!".
32. Laze suggesting to Memphis while on the beach.... "Why don't you do something stupid Mike?"
33. Quick Buck disgusting the old lady in The Fort by graphically describing Memphis' bell as equal to the handle on the rubber ring.
34. Memphis' detailed description of what was going to happen when he finally found a toilet after holding in a shit for the entire round of crazy golf.  The description was complete with sound effects and delivered within ear shot of a woman eating a jacket potato.
35. Memphis' follow-on apology to anyone in ear shot of his 'pooing' description.  Simply.... "Sorry".
36. Jonny Five Dicks.  The name given to Laze after he was snapped in a ridiculous sleeping position with the quilt just on his head and his hands squashed together between his legs for warmth.  See The B&B.
37. Gangsta with long hair.  Gangsta's surfer dude lookalike found in Belushi's.
38. The cry of "Bollox" that came from an adjacent fairway during golf when we were on the 5th.
39. The entire round of golf!
40. Bluff's anger at Memphis following further Bellmania.... "You horrible, horrible, bastid".
41. The comment made to Memphis in relation to all the Bellmania.... "You have ruined Newquay for me".
42. Win-Bag.  The name given to Bluff following his scarily good impression of T-Bag from 'Prison Break' being a batty boy.
43. The random Michael Jackson lookalike complete with black clothing and hat who ran past Hero and Memphis on the hotel picnic bench at 5am.  As Memphis sarcastically called out "Run Forest", he then stopped running, slowed to a jog, turned around whilst jogging on the spot, jogged back up the road, continued to jog into the grounds of the B&B, jogged over to the picnic bench where they were sat, and after this long tense moment finally just said "Can I buy a fag off you?".
44. Shag describing his lack of tan with.... "I fought the sun and the sun f*cked off".
45. The shocking state of our room.
46. Memphis using people on the dance floor of the foam party as a scrummaging machine.
47. Gangsta seeing a bunch of girls in Red Square and exclaiming like a superhero about to put on his costume.... "Look at all them!  I'm gonna get stickered up!".
48. Taking photo's of every piece of female flesh on the beach, only to notice the POLICE cabin right behind us when we got up to leave.
49. The inability of Hero to pronounce "Belushi’s" by repeatedly calling it "Bushemi’s", which is actually the name of the bulging frog-eyed actor Steve Buscemi from Con Air.
50. The Clubflat stickers everywhere you moved, including a random rock on the beach, a snail, a wall mosaic, peoples clothes, all road signs, all bars, all takeaways, and a whole sheet just shoved in a fence panel as someone was too drunk to peel them off.
51. Bodge-It thinking he had rumbled Hero planting a single Clubflat sticker on the back of his car, only to get home and find them plastered on the front and all inside his car too.
52. Laze's sick ghostly look as he watched at you walking past from the upstairs window of the B&B, staring at you continuously, following your every move.
53. Hero's faffing whilst getting ready.
54. Someone commenting.... "I need therapy from seeing a close up of Memphis' Bell, balls and ass in the van".
55. Memphis going in the Chinese takeaway whilst Hero walked round the corner to the cowdog takeaway and somehow Memphis not only impossibly being already at the counter of the cowdog takeaway, but also having already ordered his food!
56. The laughter as Hero discovered the inside of the Chinese takeaway at the back led straight through to the cowdog takeaway and was a vastly quicker route.
57. Trying to go to the beach on Saturday in Chuggsy, finding no car park space and returning to go back to bed, FOR THE WHOLE DAY!
58. The never ending different stories relating to how Shag was going to get raped in the double bed by Memphis!
59. B&B owner Nick's story about how the 3 seater inflatable ring towed behind his boat was safe as houses and how he'd never tipped anyone out even in big swells, then within 60 seconds Quick Buck and Memphis were at least 25 foot apart in the sea in a catastrophic accident.
60. Rhythm's 'Dad-sized' Mitchell Brother hands squeezing the life out of Hero's ribs for jumping on him naked.
61. The hotel rooms 'Memphis Alarm'.  A bed in Bodge-It's Hero's and Rhythm's room angled to block the door from opening so Memphis couldn't rush in and had to squeeze through.
62. Memphis waking the hotel up at 4am laughing at the loud splintering noise as Hero sat on his foldaway bed and burst straight through the pathetic wooden slats.
63. Rhythm in the curry house saying "Look at her tits, look at her tits" as a fit bird took a photo for us, not realising she was with her Mum and Dad who were sat just a foot away on the next table.
64. Memphis exclaiming "Oh my Brokeback Mountain" as someone walked in the room.
65. Hero reading the David Brent punch lines out the newspaper in Corkers breakfast bar.... "Women, ARE, Dirty".
66. Laze asking if he looked like a snake?
67. Image not reading the golfing scorecard for course etiquette on what is an immovable object!
68. Bluff saying to 3 blokes outside Belushi's as they had their photo taken holding a Clubflat card.... "Check out the Clubflat site.... your photo will be on it".  Then Dazz handing them back their own camera which the photo was on.... doh!
69. A Clubflat sticker on the front of a birds skirt.... and her pulling it off like it was just another sticker someone had slapped on her! "Not again!".
70. Shots of Jager Bombs in Belushi's.
71. Memphis commenting on some beach totty.... "You could see her brush!".
72. The bird in Walkabout who caught Memphis putting a Clubflat sticker on the back of her belt, pulled it off and evil-eyed him for the rest of the night, not realising Hero had already replaced it with another sticker the instant she pulled the first one off.
73. Rhythm being referred to as "Right Said Fred".
74. Laze's GOAT as a form of defense against the Bell that was Memphis.
75. The sickening noise of farts that bellowed out throughout the nights and during the days.
76. The Mitchell Brothers, Rhythm and Bodge-It always being "In the bar", helping out Peg.
77. The fart Memphis did on the wall outside of The Fort forcing an innocent couple to move indoors.
78. The owner of the Longboard shop shouting abuse from the darkness of Somerfield car park that he was going to make us "hold his nob" and that he would "run us over" for merely climbing up his sign and planting a sticker.
79. The cowdog and rancid sauce that was deposited in the Longboard shop's letterbox in retaliation for the abuse the owner shouted at us the night before.
80. A girl on the beach with a strong common sounding Mancunian accent saying to her friend how she hated her accent as it sounds common, followed by a slight pause and then Hero's simplistic sarcastic response of.... "You Reckon?"
81. The hissing noises that immediately ensued when Laze tried to kick the beach ball.... the goat instantly piercing the ball.
82. The pattern of Clubflat stickers someone took the time the do on the drunken marathon back to the B&B.
83. Trying to body-surf into the immensely fit arses of 2 hot birds in the sea with the exclamation "I managed to grab her ankle", then as they suddenly moved further away from us to body board, realising how pervy it must have been for them.
84. Laze out of his tree on Friday night wandering around the beach on his own trying to talk to groups of people.  At one point someone actually said "Just go away".
85. Spending 35 minutes trying to get into a room downstairs following some beach antics after seeing someone going into the room and thinking it might be a party.
86. Looking at Electo Kid's speedo on the way there thinking this feels quite fast.  It was only reading 110 mph.
87. Chuggsy's nose bleed.   And squirting the oil out on the AA man.
88. Memphis saying.... "I’ve got feelings you know".  Quick Buck replying.... "Yeah, in the Bell".
89. Hero somehow staying in bed as long as Laze. Every time Laze thought he should get up, he looked down at Hero still asleep and it gave him the comfort to go back to sleep.
90. Foam in your mouth and nostrils at The Beach Club foam party, preventing you from breathing.
91. Quick Buck and Laze playing Jenga with Image's trainer pissed out their faces.  Laze lost, it fell out the window, they left it, it was gone when they woke up.
92. Random boob and bum feeling in the foam, not knowing what gender you were feeling.
93. Hero and Quick Buck jigging along with stupid cheesy grins miming to the Beach Boys "Everybody’s surfing USA", filming the stupidity as they went to pick up their Nan in the van.
94. The sweaty smell of Memphis' poo in the B&B rooms toilet.
95. Laze daring Hero to smell Memphis' poo, but then not only going in to smell it, but taking a further dump in there and adding to it, much to the disgust of the rest of the room with the "ohhhs", "uurrghs" and "aaahs" that could be heard from within the toilet.
96. Clubflatting 'The Dons' nursing home.
97. Hero throwing a water balloon from the B&B rooms window on some girls walking past who looked up in disgust at an unaware Laze left standing there.
98. The occasional sour puss birds who didn't want their picture taken, so then got stickered and had their picture taken without their consent anyway.  Like they had a choice.
99. Laze ordering breakfast.... "Can I have a full English, no beans tomatoes etc".  Basically just toast then.
100. Hero finding Saracen from the original Gladiators in Red Square and Clubflatting him.
101. Quick Buck in Belushi’s drunkenly inviting himself to have a go on the band’s drum kit and then a mob of people egging him on and chanting for him to perform a solo.  He said at the time he had never felt under so much pressure.