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What a weekend to have a stag do in Newquay on.  The sun was blazing, the 'skirt' was out in force and the bars were calling.  Silly t-shirt shaped sunburn was guaranteed for the evening.  As they wandered around Newquay, the 13 strong Clubflat Team had inadvertently split up into smaller groups.  But it didn't take long for them to find each other again as they all came up with the same great idea, and gradually descended upon the best place in Newquay to be at on a day like this - the Fistral Beach Bar!  From this vantage point overlooking the beach, not only can you admire the passing 'floss' from high up above whilst soaking up the sun, but you can do it whilst drinking beer.  However one particular bird took offence to the blatant leering of the happily tipsy Clubflat Team and re-enacted her vengeance with military precision.  With absolutely no-one noticing the impending doom, she swooped faster than a bullet and released her 200mph payload straight at easy targets Stu, Laze and Bluff who were just like sitting, err, humans.  BOOM! went the bar window as an elephant-sized vat of bird shit rocketed in like a scud missile.  Fortunately, like real scud missiles the targeting was a little off resulting in it narrowly missing Laze and Stu's heads.  Had it been 2 inches to the left, Laze would have found a whole new meaning to the phrase "Eat shit and die".  But the bird's mission was a partial success.  The milky 'poo-juice' accompanying the main brown bomb had scattered across the three of them, much to the amusement of the others who were now looking nervously above them in case of a second attempt.

 

It beggars belief how the 'poo-scud' actually missed Laze sat right there

Laze risks re-taking his seat

Clearly the seagull had foraged on an Indian takeaway last night

Bluff demonstrates why it's unwise to have a wank when tipsy

Laze was thankful some 'poo-juice' was all that hit him